Disguise

I do not disguise well

my soul is in a place I cannot find, 

my faith plays my human form

I am thrown into an ocean

racing to reach the surface

but love held me under

Thank you

...


I've felt close to death on two occasions by drowning. I got caught under a water fall, and trapped under a floating mat. When the panic starts to set in, you can hear your heart thumping in your chest, your body starts to tingle and your throat feels weighted. "love held me under" It was love pulling me under water but magic happened. I feared that panicked state of am I going to survive, but then I took a breath, and I survived.

When your mind is in a negative state - you feel sad, or low energy. You tell yourself to put on this smile and act like nothing is wrong. Nobody likes being the friend who brings negative energy into the space. Your true emotions are disguised for the sake of the people around you. But also with the hope that maybe your mood will turn around. “If I act happy, maybe ill be happy.”

I personally suffer from depression and at times it can be very difficult to continue my daily operations. I am the happiest when I am dancing. I immerse myself in the present time, and focus all my energy to my movement. I had a moment though, when my low energy was taking over me, and even though I tried to disguise it, my friends noticed. It was like the room became an ocean and even though my negative feelings were trying so hard to swim to the surface, the love of my friends kept those feelings under water. They held me under in this ocean of love and my energy was transformed. I felt secure, happy, refreshed and renewed. 


...

Ever feel something when you're around someone and just know they need you? We naturally feel awkward around people who we sense negative energy from. I think it is very rare for people to go out of their way for another person. The reason? We are lazy, and self centred creatures. It takes time, and energy to invest in someone else, we wont just do it for anyone. But I think a little goes a long way, a simple compliment can turn a persons whole mood upside down. Offer them a cup of coffee, listen to their story, ask them how there day was. You don’t have to give them the world to make a huge impact. I dare you to try it next time. Change a life, warm a heart. Spread LOVE. 

Dedicated to my Illustrative family. Thank you for creating home for me to feel loved, safe, and effortlessly me. 

EarthlyNoise